The Greatest Story Ever Told

I hope you like excellent stories.

This story is in three parts:

I. Once upon a time, there was a little vintage lady named Lisa. One day, March 31, 2010, to be exact, she went to work in a lovely faux-40s dress, vintage clip-on earrings, and vintage shoes with pretty bows. She also wore a scarf and antique velvet bow in her hair. She took a picture of herself. For some reason, there is a yellow light growing out of her face.





II. Lisa got a case of the Vanities, and decided to take more pictures of herself in the Creepy Red Room. On a side note, look at how she appears to be pouting and annoyed with herself during her private self-portrait session.






III. Lisa came out of the red room and decided to act like a ghost. As you can see here, she did a bang-up job. Let's give her a round of applause! Hooraaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!





Epilogue

Dear Reader, do not fear UnderWired. Lisa is not really a ghost. She's just very, very pale. And she's offering 50% off remaining winter coats and 30% off select items in the shop! AND, through this Saturday, you will receive 10% off spring clothing and scarves! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Rainy Day Cooking, Cats, Christian Dior

I love rainy days. They are so relaxing and cozy. Today was a great day to curl up with a horde of cats and read, eat, sleep and eventually, cook.

I made a delightful veggie medley with a ginger-peanut sauce. It all went over pasta and Voila! Yumyum time!

Harry the Cat likes to supervise me in the kitchen. Normally, when I'm cooking, he likes to sit, as pictured on the barstool, handing out good advice. "Don't stick your foot in the peanut butter." "Try adding a little more cilantro." "Stop sticking your face in the cookie batter." He's a great friend to have in the kitchen! Are those cut-glass water bowls on the floor in that picture? On a tray? Why yes, yes they are. Do I have some serious cat coddling issues? No. Maybe. Yes.

After I made food, I starred in a horror film about product placement. See right.

And now, a vintage fashion lesson. I love Christian Dior's "New Look" style, which was introduced in 1947. After the rationing of fabric during the Second World War, Dior introduced a style that sometimes used yards and yards of fabric, and created an ultra feminine silhouette with nipped-in waist and full skirts. Often, several starched crinolines were added underneath the skirts to create just the right fullness of shape. Some people rejected this style and the use of so much fabric, and others embraced it. I adore the graceful lines and femininity. What do you think?

Brainz

Hi!

Alison Leigh, owner of Eskandalo salon,Daniel Paashaus, Jon Narmita, and I will be interviewed tonight at 6:00 p.m. on WDIY to discuss arts in the Lehigh Valley. Tune in!

I am rushing around looking for something to wear so I look nice on the radio. That's the one with the screen, right?

Until then, here's a "vintage" portrait of yours truly, just as I was being introduced to the world of the undead. Enjoy!

Books, learnin', being a goofball

I made Sean take my pictures this morning. All he wanted to do was relax and enjoy his Sunday, so I said "TAKE MY PICTURE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" (really). I feel that this activity seriously increased his enjoyment of the weekend, because nothing is as much fun as being forced to take pictures of a woman with books on her head.

Today's outfit includes a beautiful pleated wool skirt which belonged to one of my grandmothers and a suuuuuuuuuuper cute casual 1950s shirt. The books pictured are available in the shop. You can actually get smarter by coming in here! The pile of books pictured includes an old copy of West Side story, and some Philip Roth classics! What a great place this UnderWired is! See you soon! EXCLAMATION!

Oh Yes.

Today's post might be the best ever. I was trying, and failing, to take decent pictures of my retro hairdo for this post, so I said "Ok! I will dazzle UnderWired shoppers with stupid pictures with stuff written on them instead!"

For your enjoyment:

Paper Doll Sally wanted to show you her favorite jewelry pieces.


Creepy Doll Loves You.




I'm hungry.

Mary Shelley, Jane Eyre, and My Outfit

Ok! I was watching an old 1980s adaptation of Jane Eyre the other night. I was really interested, and decided that I wanted to re-read the book. Then I started thinking about all the books I enjoyed as a kid, and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein came to mind. Then I started thinking of the beautiful clothing of the early 1800s. The empire waist silhouette was so pretty and feminine. So I decided I would wear this high-waisted blue and white sundress again today. My hair and accessories ended up matching the pseudo-Regency vibe by accident. I fought with my hair for a good 30 minutes before it decided to settle into a manageable blob underneath a filmy scarf. That annoyed me because I like to slouch around the house and then get ready fairly quickly and then run out the door panting that I'm going to be late. So the hair thing really threw a wrench into my morning, grr!

I also wore a sweater, because...it's kind of cold today. Oh well! That just means that you should visit me and bring me warm wishes :)

Can I take your order?

Today's outfit says "Do you want fries with that, Honey?" I like it. Polyester zip-front uniform style top and my obvious new favorite skirt, which I can't seem to stop wearing. I wore braids today because I felt like it. So there. I am pretending to be Sookie Stackhouse all day today. For those of you who know what that means: yes, I will be listening to your thoughts, so be warned. I'll also take your drink order, but will not actually serve you a drink.

One more thing. Check out this great image by Tina Hemmerle, the Happy Hooper, featuring De'ja Brew (across the street)! You can get real drinks there, made of coffee and other good things, and boy are they tasty! Also, get their veggie burger. Just sayin'.

How to Look Like a Retro Movie Star on a Windy Day

Today, I knew that the walk in would be potentially blustery. In fact, a good friend called me to warn me not to wear one of my big floofy skirts if I wanted to keep my underwear color a secret today (I do). I thought to myself "YESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!! I love any excuse to wear a scarf tied over my hair with big sunglasses!" I really thought those exact words, and then I did a rock star kick and then I winked at one of my cats.

Tying a scarf over your hair looks glamorous, keeps your hair in place on a windy day, and also helps you trick people into believing that you're a movie star from decades gone by. As you can see from this picture, I would have to tell you I'm not a movie star or you would never know. I actually wouldn't tell you that I'm not famous, but instead would sign an autograph and say something vague about my upcoming "projects."

Today, I also want to thank Jaime K., all-around fabulous person, and author of the inspiring "Save the Kales" website, for featuring UnderWired in her blog post today! Thank you Jaime! Check out her very informative, often heart-warming blog at savethekales.wordpress.com. You can also become a fan on Facebook! Just click HERE.

Ok everyone! I hope you have the kind of day that causes you to say "I LOVE DAYS"! Be happy, have fun, and I'll see ya tomorrow!

Tempest Storm!

I decided not to post my own outfit today and instead, I have presented a picture of Tempest Storm, burlesque queen of the 1950s and 60s (who still performs occasionally today)!

In other news, I am preparing to attend SBNLV's Annual Meeting at the Bethlehem Brew Works tonight, from 6:00 -9:00. The theme is "A Toolbox for Benefiting a Local Economy" and is open to the public. Networking, a panel discussion, and refreshments. Be there! This is an important event for anyone who owns an independent business and for individuals who understand the importance of strengthening local economy.

More about Tempest Storm. She's hot. She' sassy. She co-wrote a book called Tempest Storm: The Lady Is a Vamp. She's 82 and still performs...WHAT? AWESOME. If I could choose to have multiple moms, I would choose my mom, my mother-in-law, and Tempest Storm. Three awesome moms, and one of them a burlesque queen. YES! Look at the shoes in this picture. And the thigh-highs. Style, even in her underwear. My moms are so cool!

I hope I'll see many of your smiling faces at the SBNLV Annual Meeting tonight!

From Dressy to Casual and Other Fun Stuff on a Rainy Day

Rainy days are good for snugglin', cleanin', sleepin', and relaxin'.

I have decided to post pics from last night's outfit change. If you read yesterday's post, you saw that I was wearing a springy purple dress with flowers in my hair. After closing the store, Sean and I had a dinner date with friends, and I wanted to wear something more comfortable, but I still wanted to have fancy flowers in my hair. So! I kept the flowers and scarf, and changed into a cotton vintage button-down top with purples and pinks and blues in it, and I also wore my vintage inspired navy blue pants. Casual, flowery, and delightful. Be sure to check out Tina Hemmerle's floral hair pieces at UnderWired! Super duper cuter. There's a cat in my leg --------->

Sean and I went on to enjoy some absolutely delicious homemade vegetarian lasagna, and angel food cake with berries and whipped cream at our friends' home. Wonderful! Plus, we played Trivial Pursuit for a few hours, and I kicked ass, in my opinion. Thanks to my outfit, I'm sure.

Snuggle up with someone you love today. Nothin' says lovin' like rainy days and an oven. It's true, look it up.

Today is another great day!

I came in to the shop today, ready for another wonderful day at UnderWired!

I immediately called a friend and gabbed about cool stuff like De'ja Brew's coffee and Eskandalo's haircuts.

Now I'm thinking ahead to lunch. I like to eat. I highly recommend Blue Sky's lemon ricotta pancake. I wore a dress today that is springy and cute, and is also a tad big for me. This is a good thing, because I will need room for my food gut after lunch. Because the dress is a bit big, I wore a tank top underneath. I didn't like the way that looked, so I ran my black scarf through the straps of the dress, then tied it in a bow. Now the outfit looks coherent and purdy. Purple flowered millinery veil for a hair decoration today. Dear Spring, I wore a sartorial representation of you today. I hope you like it! Love, Lisa

Happy First Day of Spring!

In honor of Spring, I wore this dress. I am not even going to describe it, because, just look at it. It's great.

What I WILL say, however, is: wowee zowee today is AWESOME! The perfect first day of spring! Get outside and walk around and enjoy the weather. Ride your bike. Support your local independent businesses! I just heard that Blue Sky Cafe is offering a lemon ricotta pancake on the menu. And De'ja Brew is offering vegan tomato basil soup! And I am offering free smiles!

Could today possibly be more phenomenal?! I don't know, but maybe Creepy Doll Jane knows the answer to this question. Ew, she whispered something about brains and "effluvium", so never mind.

Have a spectacular day! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

It's So Nice Out That I Can't Stop Smiling

I like to smile. It is gorgeous out, and the smile has not left my face yet. What a beautiful day!

Today's blog post contains a whole cast of characters. Creepy Doll Jane has made an appearance. She just wanted to be in the post so that you are reminded that: she's watching. Always watching.

Paper Doll Sally asked to be included today because she has fallen in love with this belt and wants everyone to know it.

I am in the post as usual, to yap about my clothing. Today's dress has been featured in a couple posts already. I wore it with a gray sweater underneath today, and a black sheer scarf tied around my neck. Black heels. Flowers and feathers in my hair. It's not a very springy outfit, I admit. We'll just say I am wearing it in honor of winter's last day of the year. I did a lot of stuff to my hair today. It's all windy and twisty and fancy, but I didn't include a detail picture because I couldn't get the camera to do what I wanted this afternoon. This dress is a treasure circa 1970-something, but I always combine it with accessories that say "way older than that." I like 70s style, but it's not my favorite to wear (just personal preference). I prefer looking like a creepy ghost lady or a 1950s housewife or something in-between.

Ok! I'm done rambling! Go out and enjoy this day if you can! Stop in and say hi! And get a chocolate-chocolate chip brownie at De'ja Brew! Yesssssssssssssssssssss.

60s Casual and Super Villains

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY!

Walking in was a treat, and I look forward to doing that more often, now that blue skies and warmer weather will be in order more often.

Today's look is 1960s-ish casual. Cuffed short jeans under a 60s style knit dress, with a simple up-do and mandatory leopard print scarf in the hair. Vintage clip-on earrings make the outfit look great, in my opinion. You don't get a really great view of the earrings in this photo, but you DO get a great view of my pretend facial hair. I am obsessed with facial hair this week. I made myself look like a vintage super villain. If I really had a mustache like this, I would walk around curling it around my fingers all day, staring menacingly at damsels and causing them distress.

Enjoy your day! You look marvelous!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I did it. I remembered to wear green on St. Patrick's Day. Not only that, but I also remembered to wear a green hat and buckled shoes, and grow a beard.

The dress I'm wearing is a vintage cotton muumuu with a beautiful green floral print. I cinched it in at the ribs with a tie-back sweater. In the full photo, I am looking at a green wrap skirt with pink pigs on it. See it? I'm also pointing at it with my foot. Do you see it? See the love hearts floating toward it? Well, it's 15% off, today only, just like all other green vintage items in the store! HOORAY FOR GREEN AND SPRING AND MY BEARD!

SPRING! GOING SHOELESS!

What a beautiful day today! I had the opportunity to do a little something for my pals at SBNLV, a wonderful organization which supports independent businesses in the Lehigh Valley. I hung out with the coordinator, Janessa Lanning, and we drove around the Valley, like local economy-boosting super heroes. Click HERE to learn more about SBNLV!

I also walked around in my house without shoes. This is a big deal for me because I am normally cold (because I don't have any of my own blood). But today, the sun was up and the temperature was just right and voila! No shoes! I am wearing that "1981" cotton button-front skirt with a multi-colored, striped tank top in honor of Rainbow Bright. 1950s black cardigan to make sure I don't get any goosebumps in my new shoeless state.

Enjoy this fabulous day! It's balmy, bright, sunny, cheery, blue, shiny, happy, and other nice words. And read THIS! UnderWired made the paper (Express-Times!) for Pi Day! Thanks to Mackenzey, Natalie, and Richard!

p.s. You can't tell, but I am smiling at a cat in this picture. You can sort of see the top of her back, at the bottom of the chair. People will be jealous if you pull that fact out at a party, 'cause you know more trivia than they do.

Secret Shopping Adventure

Hi!

I was out and about gathering more things for the shop today. In my adventures, I came across these strange orange creatures who kept feeding me delicious things made of magical goodness.
I am now nearly immobilized from overeating.


Later this week, I will deliver purses, dresses, accessories, and...yes...the ever elusive MEN'S SHIRTS to the store! It's really not that much men's stuff, I'm sorry to say, but between mouth-fulls of food, I sure did try my best to wrangle some great men's vintage. You'll like what I found.

I can say no more. I am eating a delicious biscotti and preparing some yumyum hot chocolate. When I said I was immobilized, I meant that I can only move if it involves eating. Here, have a picture of Brigitte Bardot. I like everything about this picture. Fashion, beauty, class, awesome.

HAPPY PI DAY EVERYONE!

Hi!

Don't forget to stop in at UnderWired for FREE pieces of delicious:



Today, I wore another spring-like outfit. Remember the dress I wore that was too small in the rib area? Well, the greatest thing happened. While breathing, which I like to do sometimes, I broke one of the hook closures. It popped right off and shot across the room and made this noise: ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooom! The lack of a hook freed up about 1/2 an inch breathing room so that I can now comfortably wear the dress. To be sure the dress stays zipped closed, since it's missing a hook, I pinned a brooch in the back, as pictured. Really, I guess I always had the option of removing the hook and re-sewing it into a more comfortable spot, but why do that when you can break things and then use jewelry to fix them? Jewelry, I say! Note the lovely pink and blue silk scarf. You will be quizzed on it later.

Have a wonderful Pi Day, hopefully with us, here at UnderWired. My friends have created some fabulous baked edible art, so git on over here! The pie pictured above is one of their wonderful creations :)

Playing with Paper Dolls on a Rainy Day

Hello and happy Rain Day!

Today, I wore another dress-sweater-jeans combo AND my tried and true leopard scarf. It's a good outfit for a chilly day. Warm, kind of cute, and nothing I'm wearing will get in the way as I'm cleaning up the shop's kitchen. Why would I be cleaning the kitchen you ask? Because tomorrow is PI DAY! 3.14 on 3/14. Free pieces of pie for all from 12:00 p.m. - 3:00 p.m. and store wide discounts on round things! $3.14 off hoops, and any round vintage item of $10 or more! This includes hats, circle skirts, circular patterns, and more!

Today, I would like to introduce Paper Doll Sally. She likes to hang out in her vintage "unmentionables" and run around the shop finding things to wear. Today, she is choosing to stay in her undies, but wear these great black suede shoes with 3" heels. They are about a size 5, which is perfect for her tiny feet. At only $35, Paper Doll Sally would be nuts to pass them up!

More Wonka Style

I thought I'd continue my Wonka theme today and wear my plaid wool jumper again. It has the same feel as Veruca Salt's outfit,with the low waist and pleated skirt, as pictured here------------------->




I also wore this jumper today because it's rainy and a little chilly out and might be the last day for wearing heavy cozy wool this season. Again with the Photoshop makeup. I can't help it.

I wore my 60s Mary Janes again. I also want to show off my retro-inspired jacket. I was excited to wear this because I forgot it existed until I went into my attic closet last night. Another good reason for wearing it is that I knew that, on my walk in to the store today, it would help keep my dress in place so that passing traffic wouldn't have to see my underwear, should it get windy. A girl has to think about these things. And it looks great.

Wonka Wonka Wonka

Today's outfit came in two parts, but you only get to see one part.

On my walk to the store, I decided to channel Violet Beauregarde from 1971's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory AND Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka from the 2005 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You know when Violet got to the blueberry pie portion of the gum and turned into a blueberry? I kind of looked like that. I wore black boots, navy blue pants, a dark blue long sweater as a jacket, bright turquoise-blue and white striped gloves, and I carried a big blue plaid bag. I wore huge sunglasses like Johnny Depp's Wonka. I didn't really do any of this on purpose, but rather just realized how absurd I looked as I traveled along my path to the shop. I wanted to tell you all about it.

Todays' actual outfit is a light blue cotton 1950s top under a modern black tunic/dress with a white tiger screen-printed on it. All this over navy blue pants, and a blue flower in the hair. I took a picture of myself pretending to read so that you might think I'm smart. Did it work?

As you may know, this Sunday, March 14, UnderWired is hosting its second annual "Pi Day." Celebrating 3.14 on 3/14. A holiday for math enthusiasts, nerds, and people who like to eat lots of pie- if you want to eat FREE PIE, get here on Sunday between the hours of 12:00 p.m. and 3:00 p.m.! There will also be special discounts on round items, patterns, hats, and hoops!